Ohio Through Fresh Eyes

In 2006 I was chomping at the bit to get out of Ohio. I was on the tail end of four years in Columbus capping 23 years total in the state. Anxiety and frustration flowed through my veins like blood and alcohol and my impatient restlessness was at its peak. I'd been wanting to leave since I was 13 years old, dying to go off in search of some sense of purpose and belonging.

As I drove off in that U-Haul in the mid-August heat there's no way I could have predicted how comfortable I'd feel coming back.


My last several trips back to the state have been for various weddings and generally felt rushed from pre-planned and scheduled commitments. My recent trip back, however, was different. There was nothing to prepare for, no momentous occasions - other than, I guess, seeing a friend's new house but the big decision on that front had been made months prior and they'd moved in the previous week. It was just like the old days, going over a friend's place to hang out. Just with a much longer ride.

Stepping out of the Cleveland greyhound station it struck me - as it has every time I've been back - how much easier it was to breathe. The air smelled sweet without the overabundance of car exhaust that plagues even the far reaches of the five boroughs. Driving through Lakewood with 2 I was struck by the stillness and the quiet. Though it's true we were going through the Cleveland State Campus at 3pm on a Friday in the summertime I can't remember that last time I've been on a street in New York that had that kind of serenity. Even the bar we went to for lunch felt extremely welcoming and homey with exceptional food.

The drive to Cincinnati was most mostly easy - I apparently slept through the traffic outside of Columbus - but between the woods and fields surrounding I-71 and the trees backing 6's new house I believe I saw more green last weekend than I did in the entire last year in New York combined. I realized just how much I was starting to miss open space, and driving, and clear nights and grilling. God I missed grilling.

These aesthetically pleasant tidbits of nature and calm weren't the biggest surprise, however. Moreso was the feeling of hanging out in a house with 2, 4 and 6 (and Mrs. 6) with nothing else to do but enjoy each other's company. These are my oldest friends in the world and a weekend spent lazing and eating and drinking with them was more satisfying than most of the days I've spent lazing and eating and drinking in New York. For the first time in a long time I started to seriously consider the idea that I could live in Ohio and not be constantly planning my next chance to leave.

Don't get me wrong. I still enjoy living in NYC and I'm hardly plotting an imminent move back to Ohio. But the more time I spend away the more I've started to realize that while I might have traveled hundreds of miles east, part of me never left the midwest.